Fake it Until You Make It

12 years ago, I joined the chamber of commerce and was invited to introduce myself at the monthly general meeting. So, of course, I took the mic and said that I wanted to be the change that I wished to see in the world. I wanted to be known on Main Street for my smile. Crickets. As I left that meeting, I thought, "Wow, Andrya. Way to go." I just told 60-80 people I had never met that I wanted to be known for my smile? Yes, yes, I did.

Well, it takes 90 days to create a habit, and your chances are better if you're held accountable by someone. Like, 60-80 of your new chamber of commerce friends? Yep. So the only choice I had was to do it. I decided to smile at every single person I came into contact with. Fake it 'til you make it, right? Some days I don't feel like smiling. But I had to be all in on this thing.

I created a habit of smiling at people, whether I was running, lifting weights at the gym, or walking down Main Street to chamber meetings. I was pretty much smiling all the time.

As time went on, my competitive side emerged. Why be good when you can be great? So my next step was to answer "I'm great" to everyone that asked how I was. I'm not just good, I'm great!

One day, I was walking with my husband, and we stopped in front of a neighbor's home to admire the new roof they had just installed. We both said, "Good for them! We're so happy that they were able to improve their home!" At that moment, we realized that we were no longer faking it; we had made it. We were genuinely happy for our neighbors that we had never actually met in person. I've just recently learned a word for this: neuroplasticity.

When we make a conscious effort to change the way we think about things, it can actually change the way our brain works. With consistency, our brain learns to focus more on the new habit and less on the old. "Smile more" starts as a goal and becomes a subconscious response to coming in contact with people. "I'm great" becomes the default response to "How are you?" And the more you do it or say it, the more you feel it. I feel pretty darn great most of the time.

This has gotten me through some serious stuff: a recession, a catastrophic fire, a pandemic, chronic pain. It's not always easy, and I need some reminders from time to time, but it works if you work it. I’m confident that this technique can help me with anything I come across in my future, too.

Have a great day!

>3 Andrya